Answering Common Myths

To see someone that isn’t happy or fulfilled in any vocation is sad. To follow the Lord and the Gospel ought to emanate joy. And in fact, most priests are happy! In his book, “Why Priests are Happy,” Msgr. Rossetti finds that priests, as a group, are very happy men. They like the priesthood and are committed to it. In fact, 92% say they are happy in their ministry, among the highest rate of satisfaction of any profession in the United States.

Loneliness is different than being alone. Though priests can often live alone, they are far from being lonely. Their lives are surrounded by their own families, deep friendships and those they encounter in their ministry. Further, when a priest does feel himself feeling lonely, it is often because his own prayer life with our Lord is lacking. Jesus invites priests into a deep intimacy not many have experienced, but it is up to the priest himself if he desires it.

Many biblical scholars believe St. John the Beloved (the Apostle) was around 14 to 15 years old when Jesus called him to “follow.” Being “too young” isn’t a weird or bad thing. If anything, it’s a gift. The Lord has revealed to you your potential calling because he thinks you’re ready. Don’t be afraid to respond and, when old enough (around sophomore and junior years of high school), start going on seminary visits and investigating more.

To state the obvious, it is good to desire to be a husband, a father and to have a family. By our creation as male and female, we are called to marriage by default. It is an integral part of our nature in what-it-is to be human. So true is this, that the Church would actually never even allow a man to apply to seminary if he didn’t desire these things. Feeling the strong pull towards dating and family life is not a legitimate excuse to opting out of discerning priesthood. Rather, it is a prerequisite and sign that the man could be called and one-day be a good, happy and healthy spiritual father. It is from this ‘default’ vocation of marriage that God calls men to follow him.

As mentioned above, by our very nature as men we are meant to be married. It is from this default natural vocation that God calls men to radically follow him. Thus, to discern these two vocations on the same level (or at the same time) isn’t exactly fair to ourselves, to a potential future spouse or to God. How can we give a potential future spouse half of our heart while leaving the rest for God? Could we one day regret not having given Him our whole heart in discernment? Our first responsibility is always to Him. If a man truly feels called to the possibility of priesthood, it’s only after a good discernment with the church and the door to priesthood being shut, that a man can then freely enter into marriage.

You’re right. You are not worthy. Nor is the seminarian that’s already in formation and preparing to be a priest this spring. We are never worthy of the call. But he still calls. And in this, he asks of us trust and cooperation with his grace. That he calls at a certain time, in a certain place, in a certain circumstance, etc. is for a reason. Perhaps it’s actually in applying to seminary and going that God desires you to start to feel ready. Surely the Apostles were afraid, didn’t feel worthy or ready when Jesus initially called them. But by saying “yes” and journeying with him, they eventually were.

The Lord created you. From before the world was formed he knew you. The gifts and talents he has given you, since he is a good and loving God, will line up most with the vocation he has also created you for. To us, we don’t often see the big picture, but He does. He can and will fulfill the desires of your heart, if you let him.